Emerging....Again

Depression is life's most formidable foe. It doesn't matter how well you counter punch or can tell a feint from a real punch. It doesn't matter how well you bob and weave, or how good your footwork is. Depression is inside you, and it's there for as many rounds as you are.   --- B

Emerging....Again

Coming out of an overwhelming depression is like swimming up from the
deep end of the pool with heavy weights attached to your body.  You
aren’t sure if you will make it all the way up or survive the journey
at all.  You tell yourself, “This too shall pass,” while your
Depression says, “Yes, but I will come again.  And again and again.
I’m an addiction you cannot beat.” You consider this fact and wonder
if you can keep surviving these spells or if you want to keep fighting
this continuous battle.  Each time, it gets a little worse.  You are a
little older and a little less likely to beat it.  That’s what
Depression tells you.

You wonder how long it will take for your dogs, family and friends to
get over your passing and start fantasizing a new happy blonde wife
for your husband. “Make sure she doesn’t have depression,” I tell
Gary.

The crazy thing is you know things aren’t that bad in your life.  You
are just having some kind of chemical pressure in your brain.  It’s
pressing on your will to live.  It exhausts you, drains you and tries
to coax you into ending it all, like a cartoon devil on your shoulder.

I am emerging from another bout.  I don’t feel victorious yet, but the
fact that I’m still here means I won.