Monday, May 27, 2013

To Fatigue

We made it through our first few festivals and even got some great reviews and write-ups.  More importantly, people seem to be inspired by the women's stories and I have met more women and girls who, after watching, "Fight Like A Girl" want to try boxing!  I intend to start up some clinics again soon.

Even when you finish a film, the next phase is daunting - how do you get it out there?  Which is the right distributor?  Should I sell DVDs right away?  How can I get more screenings?  More good press?  How can I sell this to television?  What more should I be doing to get it out there? Oh, and....Do I really want people seeing this and judging me?

I don't think it's a coincidence that I have stepped up my boxing training .  Decided to train at Wildcard twice a week and spar three times a week.  Work on my weaknesses as a boxer and as a person.  I suppose other sports do that, but for me, boxing is so concrete.  Because it is just you vs. Yes, that other person is in the ring with you, and may even be more athletic, in better shape, more talented, etc, but how you deal with it is what creates the fighter within you.  I am always reminded of this whenever I decide to up my training and mix it up in the ring.  I am forced to be patient with myself even if I am getting hit with shots I don't think I should be getting hit with.  It's just more room for improvement.  Developing that kind of mentality is difficult but a must for anyone who wants to be good at anything where they put themselves out there.   Every time you start over, you have to be humble, take your lumps and as you go, build your skill and confidence.

Boxing, acting, singing, being a comedian, a dancer, an artist, a writer or a filmmaker means that you are going to put yourself out there for judgement by expressing yourself in the art that you choose.  How much can you listen and get better and how much is it that the critic just doesn't understand your voice or your style?  How much does it even matter?

As I am actually starting to take a liking to yoga (shocker), I did a very gentle class last night and marveled at how foreign it was to me.  We used blocks if we weren't flexible enough to reach poses and were told not to push ourselves too hard.  Be gentle with ourselves.  Such a foreign concept for someone like me.  I was just pushing myself hard in the morning sparring because I want to be able to go more rounds without gassing out.  When we build muscle and in cardio, we work ourselves to fatigue.  That is the only way to get better.  But, that's not always the thing our body or mind needs.  I am reminded of that as I am gently stretching my hip flexers and letting go of the thought that it's just not enough.  Other people are more flexible.  Other people's poses look better.  It doesn't matter anymore because I am practicing being gentle with myself and improving at my own pace.

If only we could learn to do that until fatigue.